"Are You That Insecure, Bitch?"

So, I was facebook lurking and I came across a pic that I posted on Kevin Hart's page. It was a pic of me wearing his Alright Alright Alright shirt. When I posted it I knew a lot of people would have something to say about my size. So I checked the first comment and of coarse, it was some woman joking on my size saying 'Kevin what size did she have to buy?' So more people started commenting and I expected it to be more fat jokes, but surprisingly people were defending me. They started taking shots at the woman's appearance, and excuse my language for a second, but that bitch deserved it! People don't know the crap that goes on in someone's life. I could have been contemplating on killing myself that day for all she knew. I just don't see the point in attacking someone you don't even know. So, I ask 'are you that insecure bitch?' And let's not ignore the fact that she's a grown woman being childish picking on a 19 year old girl. But in all serious. . .ness?? I was thoroughly shocked by the amount of people who had my back. I guess humans aren't so cruel after all.

A Constant Internal Battle

Growing up, I always compared myself to my older sister. I always thought she was prettier, smarter, and more talented than I was. It's been years now and I still find myself comparing myself to her. I've gotten a lot better with it though. I don't find myself constantly comparing myself to her like I used to, but it's kinda hard not to when she comes home and talks about the guys that try to talk to her on a daily basis. I can't help but to feel inferior to her. Not only do I think she's better than me in the looks department, but in other areas as well. My sister is extremely smart, she's funny, she's independent, and it seems as if she's never been without a job. Me? I'm fat, unattractive, shy, weird, and currently jobless. I've searched,for years, for 'staple' in life. The other day my sister came home and started talking about some guy at her job who thought she was pretty and all my insecurities just came rushing in my head and I started crying. This whole accepting myself thing is a constant battle. There are days where I feel pretty, but there are days where I feel like just putting a bag over my head. It's really something that I need to figure out. I have to find some kind of self-confidence. I feel like I blame others a lot for the way I feel about myself, but at the end of the day I'm the one who ultimately determines my happiness. I've come a long why with my confidence, but obviously I have a lot more work to do. I'm not quite there, but I'm getting better at it.

Tired.

I'm tired!

Can someone just wind me up and get me started again???

I don't how many times I have been at this point where I'm just tired of everything

I'm especially tired of humans

Sometimes I wish I just lived on this earth with just animals haha

Weird? Yes. Less stressful though =)

Sometimes I wish I could just hit the mute button when people are talking

Soo many lies come out of someone's mouth that I just can't take it anymore

Idiots think I don't see when they're lying to me

Hello! you're not that good of a liar

Sigh.. real recognizes real huh???

I guess that's why I don't understand some of the people in this world

I'm real and I just don't understand people who are constantly fake

I just can't stand liars! ... Sigh

That Is All =)

Peace!

It's Been Awhile

So it's been awhile since I last blogged

I missed my blogger family! =)

So yea I don't even know what to blog about now ....

Give me a few seconds ...

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=)

O! I can talk about the New Year!!

I brought in the New Years in an awesome way!!

With my Calvary Community Church family! =)

Really happy I came to that church

hmmmm..welll

I just thought about something else I want to talk about

guys!!!

Celebrities of coarse because they are not like typical guys ... well at least that's what they portray

Two celebs that have just been on my mind are Tristan Wilds and Steph Jones

Everytime I say their names I just smile! =)

What I love about them both is their personality.. they seem soo nice!

Ok enough talking about guys .... I don't like to talk about them much

Let's talk Move-veyyys

I saw Avatar and I lovedddddddd it!!! It was great!

The Hangover is like one of the most hillarious movies I have ever seen

Nine disappointed me... great musical numbers but the story line sucks anus

I finally saw Bride Wars! ha I'm a huge fan of Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway... I enjoyed it

Saw Alvin and The Chipmunks The Sequel, it was cute

I just watched Obsessed recently with my parents... they were soo into it ha

I know I watched other movies over this Winter Break but I can't think of them

And to end this blog I would like to say I'M BACK SUCKAS!! =)

One Thing I Can't Stand

I can't stand when people think my life is perfect and just dandy just because of the simple fact that I have both parents in my home

Yes, I know I'm fortunate to have both of my parents

But that sure as heck doesn't make my life perfect

Seeking . . .

Why do I continue to seek you?

The more I get to know about you, the worse you sound

But yet... I'm addicted to you

It seems as if the more bad things people say about you, I just want to pursue you

Maybe I want to prove them wrong

Maybe I want to believe that you are everthing I want and more

Why do I seek you?

When all you cause is pain

You make me cry

Tears flowing from my eyes

The heartache never ends

And my obsession begins

I start to think about you every night

I dream of seeing you every minute

When you hold me, I long for your scent to linger on my clothing

Why do I seek you?

After all the great talks and sentimental moments

You leave me

You act like there never was anything there

You seem ashamed to even speak to me

But yet I still love you???

What is wrong with me?

Why do I continue to seek you??

Am I really this dillusional to believe that you still love me??

So now I have to pretend like I have moved on

But the truth is everytime

I look into your eyes I see the good times in our past

So I'll continue to seek you in my heart

Hoping that one day we can finish what we started

School

I HATE it!